Bad News

Hey everyone, this has been an awful week! Monday started out great! Ben got a little too frisky in the kitchen with me so we fell and I hit my head and got 3 stitches! After kissing/back from the hospital he left for work and I was with the kids all morning until lunch when I sent them to my Mom's house because I had a few photo shoots in the afternoon! First I had a pregnant lady who was only 4 weeks, you couldn't even tell! Next, I had a engagement shoot, and then a women about 30 who looked full of herself and just loves getting her picture taken and admiring it! In the middle of that shoot Ben came home early from work, I was overjoyed! I dropped my camera and ran to him and kissed him harshly! I got so excited a little pee came out. I had to run inside to get a new camera because I dropped my camera in my excitement! It took me about half an hour because I couldn't find it, and when I did it needed new batteries and needed to be polished! When I came back outside, you won't guess what I found. Ben and the women, naked, doing things in our front lawn! I screamed at Ben, I was so so mad i sent the lady off (her name was Jilian) without even finishing the shoot! I just yelled at Ben for about 57 minutes until he drove away, still naked, to Jilian's house to finish what they started in the lawn! I started to cry, how could he do this to me. I drove to my mom's and picked up the kids and then they played in their rooms while I made dinner! I put the kids to bed early, I just needed some time to think, cry, and eat some steak while trying to figure out what to do! As I chewed on a piece of steak I decided to call Ben! He picked up and told me he is staying with Jilian for the night. I asked him when he would be back, and he said never! He told me my boobs weren't big enough for him to be satisfied, that Jilian was sexier and better than I was and that he doesn't love me anymore! Now, by this point I was bawling and getting tears on my steak so it tasted salty. I screamed at him, angry, and said we are getting divorced! He agreed and hung up, but before he did I heard him tell Jilian "love you and your sexy hot body babe". That broke my heart, he usually told me that catchline to turn me on! I cried myself to sleep, lonely in my bed without someone to kiss. I woke up early to get the kids on the bus, cried while eating mashed potatoes and sea salt popcorn all morning until lunch. I had another 2 shoots Tuesday afternoon while the kids were at school, which was good timing! I cried a lot during them though because one was an engagement shoot and one was a maternity shoot. When the kids got home from school they did their homework and played while I did work! I was very behind, I had 5 shoots to edit! I'm sure the stress of that did not help my night. I made the kids dinner around 6, and I wasn't feeling good so I didn't eat anything! Once they were in bed I threw up a few times in the sink. It wasn't good, I was just so stressed and sad it was messing up my eating and all! I went to bed pretty early, after doing some more work. Wednesday the kids left for school and Lily spent the day at my mom's because I was very very busy! I spent all morning working, I wasn't even done! I got some steak and garlic cheese on the way to the courthouse to sign papers and make the divorce official. I was a mess, sucking on my steak while I signed the papers, crying and getting everything wet and salty! I licked the tears of the podium though, they tasted to yummy. SIGH. Then, I had to quick get home before the kids got off the bus! They did their homework and all while I cleaned and made dinner, and then we watched a movie as a family before putting them to bed while I did work! Thursday was another okay day, I spent time playing with Lily when the kids were at school, and then I did some work and had lunch, finished my work in the afternoon before playing with Lily and talking to my mom! She agrees with my decision, although of course she is very sad about it too. Evening was normal, kids did homework, dinner, family time, bed, work, sleep! Friday was a bit better though, the kids had off from school so they all slept in which gave me time to clean the house, I had been neglecting that this week because I was depressed! I gained some weight, too, from eating so much steak because I was so sad and steak stained with my salty tears is just my comfort food, I think I'm going to get some right now! Anyway, (MY STEAK TASTES VERY YUMMY) I spent Friday afternoon with the kids at the park, it was a great change! We went out to dinner and then they went to bed early because they were all very tired from their long, hard, fun day! When they were in bed I had another photo shoot, it wasn't a big deal though it was quick! I spent some time editing and playing with Lily again before heading up to bed! I cried myself to sleep, I missed making out with someone! I chewed on some beef though, which cheered me up enough to make steak at 1am in the morning! Yummy, oh yes, it was amazing. I slept in this morning, because my mom thinks I need a break so she took the kids to Six Flags! It was great, I had a great morning with Lily, made lunch, and worked/cleaned early afternoon! Oops, some of my steak juice just got on my keyboard.